It's February. Also, I have started a new blog.

People...can you believe it is already February? Where did January go? It's like I blinked and the month flew by and it's already the middle of the quarter and I have four papers due in two weeks and three more papers due a few weeks after that and midterms and finals to worry about. Not that I'm freaking out about all that or anything (AHK!) or delaying working on any of it by spending hours tooling around on the internet (who me? never)...but yeah, there it is.

Anyway, speaking of the tooling around on the internet that I'm not doing, I've decided to (at least temporarily) retire this blog. Now, before you go and get all sad on me, don't worry--I'm only retiring it in favor of writing in a new blog, which you can find here. My reasoning is explained over there, but the basic gist is that I think this blog intimidates me with its storied history and all that, and I need a clean slate to try something a little different.

So, please join me in wishing a happy hibernation to this blog, and happy beginnings to the new one. Point your blog readers over to http://sometouchofmadness.blogspot.com, and I'll see you there! Happy February.

And now, without further ado...the 2007 book review!

(For reference the 2006 book review is here and the 2005 review is here.)

2007 was not a good year for books for me. I don't know how it happened, but I managed to read a string of mediocre books virtually continuously from January-June (and then of course, there were even more mediocre books after June, though not as many). I could blame school--I had a lot of reading to do for school and therefore less time to read for pleasure and therefore fewer opportunities to select books that didn't kind of suck...but that doesn't really make much sense. I still read some books and I still had opportunities to select non-shitty ones, and I just didn't. I'm going to contribute it to a freak abnormality in the space-time continuum. Yes. That makes much more sense.

Anyway, as one might expect of a graduate student, especially one that switched programs from one that required like, no work, to one that required way too much work, I didn't read that many books last year. Which is sad, but hey, that's life. I'll be done with coursework in a year and a half and then I'll have way more time to read for pleasure (never mind that pesky dissertation). I'll just have to hold on until then...and try to select less sucky books this year.

All this talk and no mention of actual books. You must be bored. Thus, without further ado, I present to you the list of books I read in 2007, in rough chronological order of completion:

January 2007
Wonder Boys - Michael Chabon
The God Delusion - Richard Dawkins

February 2007
Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
Mountain Man Dance Moves - McSweeny's Book of Lists
The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoevsky

March 2007
The Best American Science and Nature Writing - Brian Greene, Ed.
Ocean of Words - Ha Jin
Waiting for Godot - Samuel Beckett

April 2007
Saving Fish from Drowning - Amy Tan
Momentum is your Friend - Joe Kurmaskie
Avoiding Prison & Other Noble Vacation Goals - Wendy Dale

May 2007
A Man Without a Country - Vonnegut
Memories of my Melancholy Whores - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Coming of Age in Samoa - Margaret Mead

June 2007
Special Topics in Calamity Physics - Marisha Pessl
Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen
The Last Days of Dogtown - Anita Diamont

July 2007
Cows, Pigs, Wars & Witches - Marvin Harris
The Chinese Nail Murders - Robert Van Gulik

August 2007
Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows - JK Rawling
1491 - Charles Mann
Wild Swans - Jung Chang
Secrets of a Fire King - Kim Edwards

September 2007
44 Scotland Street - Alexander McCall Smith
Spook - Mary Roach

October 2007
Fierce Invalids from Hot Climates - Tom Robbins
The Omnivore's Dilemma - Michael Pollan

November 2007
The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
Off the Wall: Death in Yosemite - Michael P. Ghiglieri

December 2007
The Meaning of Night - Michael Cox
White Teeth - Zadie Smith
The Wind up Bird Chronicle - Murakami
The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield

(Plus, this year I listened to several audiobooks (two of which were suuuper long):
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell - Susanna Clarke
Shantaram - Gregory David Roberts
The Inheritance of Loss - Kiran Desai
But these are excluded from the review because I technically didn't read them.)

Yup. So that's what I read. Not a very impressive list, huh? I'm kind of sad a whole year of my life went by and I mostly read crap. But, of course, it wasn't ALL crap; there were some gems interspersed here and there. Specifically, there were about eight books that I loved and would wholeheartedly recommend for others to read (I couldn't even get to ten this year--so sad). These were (in no particular order):

1. The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky
A classic. Each year I have been trying to read at least one great Russian novel, since I really like Russian lit, but oftentimes the books are reeeeally long and reading more than one a year is kind of pushing it. A few years ago I read Anna Karenina, and then War & Peace, and then last year I conquered The Brothers Karamazov. It was great, of course, and was translated by the all-star translation team of Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky. I actually don't know anything about the merits of these translators, but I do know they're getting a lot of buzz and the two translations I've read by them (this book and Anna Karenina) were quite good. Not that I have anything to compare to (I'm sure as hell not reading a possibly crappier version of either of those books again just to compare the translations). In any case, I digress. If you like Russian lit, then The Brothers Karamazov is a good read. If you don't, well, you will probably hate it.

2. Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl
I read this book because my friend recommended it highly and by June, when I bought it, I was sick of reading mediocre books and expected this one to at least have something going for it, seeing as it was recommended by a friend of mine. Thankfully, it delivered. It was quite clever, and definitely unique. I don't want to over-hype the book; it wasn't the best book I have ever read, but it was the only good book I'd read since 2006 (save The Brothers Karamazov), and it was good. I won't describe the book for you, since I don't really recall the plot too well, and the part that I do recall would ruin the book for you, but I think it's a solid read if you're looking for something to do in your free time. But don't run out and buy the book. Maybe get it from the library. Yeah. It's pretty good. Not great. But recommendable. Yeah.

3. Water for Elephants, by Sara Gruen
I adored this book. I don't know if this is because the book was great (I think it was) or because I read it all in one day, specifically the day after I turned in my last final last year and I finally had nothing to do for school. I just lay in my bed all day long and read this book and loved every minute of it. The plot centers around this guy who was a veterinary student at Cornell (holla Ithaca!), who because of some calamities in his life decides to run away from school. He goes down to the railroad tracks, and (but of course) jumps on a train that is going by. It turns out to be a circus train, and from then on, he travels with the circus, tending for the animals and living the carny life. I think I'm probably making this book sound corny, but really, it was quite good, and I wholeheartedly recommend it. Go read it. I bet you can even find it on the buy one, get one half off table at Borders.

4. 1491 - Charles Mann
This was almost my favorite book of 2007 (and would have been my fave had I not read The Omnivore's Dilemma). One of only two non-fiction books to make my top-eight list, this book was fantastic, and was about the Americas (North and Central and South) before Columbus arrived (hence the name). The main thesis is that the images that we have of Native Americans "living lightly on the land" is completely false; the Native Americans were actively changing and molding the land, living in cities, and performing vast feats of engineering. (And then the Europeans came and gave them diseases and they died.) I'm a sucker for anthropology-type stuff about the Americas, so of course this book was right up my alley. But beyond that, it was a really interesting look into all the things we don't generally know about our land and the people who lived here before the Europeans arrived (and killed everyone and stole their treasures). Go out and buy it right now and read it...and prepare to be amazed.

5. The Omnivore's Dilemma - Michael Pollan
As mentioned above, this was my favorite book of 2007. I loved it. I ate it up (no pun intended...okay, pun intended). The book claims to be "a natural history of four meals," and that's precisely what it is: the author takes four meals - one from McDonalds, one from the frozen section at Whole Foods, one grown entirely on an organic farm, and one that he forages for himself - and traces where all the various food components came from. The first part of the book, the part about McDonalds, was the most informative for me, and hinged, surprisingly (or not, depending on how much you know about food in this country) on corn. It also completely grossed me out, and made me vow to stop eating meat from cows that were grown on feed lots (this has had the effect of essentially stopping me from eating any red meat at all, which to be honest was only a very modest decrease in the amount of red meat I ate to begin with, but still). The effect of the entire book was that I started thinking a lot more about where my food came from and how it was grown. Also, I impulsively joined a CSA program, in which I "bought" a piece of a farm, and now get a big ol' box of locally-grown organic produce every two weeks from a stand at the Mar Vista farmer's market. Which is pretty awesome, actually, and I should tell you guys about all that another day. But right now, I'm talking about the Omnivore's dilemma, or at least I was. You should all go out and read it immediately.

6. The Book Thief - Markus Zusak
I read this because Alicia gave it to me for my birthday. To be honest, I usually don't like to receive books from people as gifts, because half the time I've already read the books, and a quarter of the time I don't really want to read the books, and it's only a quarter of the time that I have interest in the books I get and actually read them and I like them. This book was one of those rare books that I actually wanted to read and ended up loving. I think it's a young adult book, but I barely noticed that--it was so engaging. The story is about a German girl during World War II/The Holocaust, and the trials and tribulations she faced. Oh, and it's told from the perspective of Death. Yup. Seriously, people, it's a really good book. It made me cry. At the gym. On the exercise bike. Yes, it was that good.

7. The Wind up Bird Chronicle - Haruki Murakami
I don't even remember why I decided I wanted to read this book; it's kind of random and unlike what I usually read. I think that in one of my hour(s)-long perusals of Borders, I happened upon this book and thought it looked interesting, and I put the title away in memory to read at a later date. Well, that later date came when I was in Ithaca over the holidays and my dad and I went to Borders, and in true sugar-daddy fashion, he offered to buy me a book. I jumped at the chance to get a free book (damn how I love books), and for some reason, this one popped into my head, so I got it. It ended up being GREAT. I think it is perhaps post-modern; the back of the book compares it to Pynchon, so take that as you may. Ultimately, the whole book is bizarre but utterly compelling, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to try something a little different.

8. The Thirteenth Tale - Diane Setterfield
I feel kind of silly recommending this book, because it was so...I dunno, mass market? I mean, it didn't make a very deep impression on me, but while I was reading it I was really into it. I'd save this book for a vacation day when you just don't want to think, and want to be entertained by a well-written story with good plot twists. Does that make sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's good, but not great, but not bad enough to not recommend. (Now that probably makes more sense. She says sarcastically.)


And, sadly, that's it. My eight paltry reading selections from 2007 that I would recommend to others. I'd write more, but I have loads and loads of reading to do for school (sigh), and anyway my elbows hurt from resting them on my desk while typing on my laptop (true story). I hope this book review lived up to at least the most modest of your expectations...and by you, I mean Jaclyn, who may have been the only one out there waiting for me to finally write this, plus the few others who made it through this entire post about books books and more books.

Alas, it is time to work. As the Germans say, Bis Später. Hope January is treating you well!

Apologies for the delay!

To those few of you who are eagerly awaiting my 2007 book review, apologies for the delay. My brother was here for 8 days, you see, and between entertaining (nay, chauffeuring) him and trying to stay afloat with schoolwork, I didn't have time to do my book blog. But it's coming soon! It's in the works! Really, I swear.

Proof I'm not lying about the brother thing:

Coming Soon!

Coming soon: I will break my two month blog silence to do my third annual Jessicool book review (2007 edition), in which I list all the books I read and pick the ten that I liked best. This blog entry will be dedicated to Jaclyn, who specifically requested it. Until then, you will have to continue to be patient with my nonblogging.

(Other blogging requests will also be considered, should you have any.)

Hope you all are having a great new year!

And frog.

I think I may have posted this last year, but it's still funny and it still makes me laugh. Happy Halloween!

My calendar proclaims it is United Nations Day. Happy UN Day, everybody!

I have to go to the doctor for a case of hypochondria in a little bit, so this will probably be short and poorly written. But hi! I haven't seen y'all in a while, eh? Things with me have been fine. Not great, not terrible, but fine. I suppose they could be worse. I've been pretty busy with school and work, but also busy doing a whole lot of nothing much, such as sitting around wondering why I am thirsty all the time and cannot seem to get enough water no matter how much I drink, and why my whole body is sore and I have been terribly lethargic for no obvious reason. Oh and also, I have been worrying this whole month about getting a stroke, but that's a story for another day. Or perhaps never, because that story involves the lady doctor and my ovaries and well, that may not be appropriate for public reading on the internets.

Random snippets of news I have inane comments on:

1. Dumbledore is gay? Seriously? How is that at all relevant to the Harry Potter story? If JK Rowling intended all along for Dumbledore to be gay, why was it kept secret until now? So she could sell more books to the Christian right? This whole story baffles me.

2. Fight! Fight! Fight! Apparently War and Peace is instigating a war in the literary world. From what I can tell, it's a war over the use of the word "original." One publishing place came out with an English translation of Tolstoy's first draft of War and Peace, which is by no means even remotely similar to his final draft, the book we all know and love. Another publishing place came out with a new translation of the standard final draft of War and Peace. The first draft people are calling their book the "original" War and Peace. The second draft people claim that it's not really "original" in the sense that it is even remotely War and Peace. I say, um, really? This is news? Then again, I get most of my "news" from my NPR Books feed on my Google home page. Perhaps I should replace that with non-book related news...

3. Book Recommendations? Speaking of books, I have read a string of mediocre books lately and it's getting depressing. Anybody have any awesome book recommendations for me?

4. Armageddon? Um, Southern California is on fire. It sucks. Sucks the most by far for the people who are losing their homes and are being displaced by the flames, and the people dying. It also sucks for the rest of us too, if only a little bit, because the weather and air could not possibly be worse. Yesterday it was 0% humidity and unbelievably hot, and it smelled bad and my softball game was canceled due to poor air quality. Today is more of the same. The whole horizon is orange from the flames, and any day now I expect the sun to be blotted out a la the sky I imagine killed the dinosaurs after the meteorite hit the earth. It sucks. It sucks so bad that the state is getting prisoners to help to fight the fire! No sex offenders need apply.

This whole fire business has thrown me back to elementary school, when we learned about making fire safety plans with our families. My next door neighbor and I took this fire planning thing seriously, and we used to have long discussions about which three belongings we would take with us from our rooms if there was a fire. I planned on taking my boxes (and boxes and boxes of photographs (for even then, I was a photographing nut)), my diary, and possibly some of my favorite books. My neighbor planned on taking her New Kids on the Block Poster, her New Kids on the Block pin, and her wallet. You can see how our priorities were not exactly the same. But anyway, that was a digression to say that I have lately been thinking about what three things I would take with me should the fire reach my abode, which it probably won't, but that doesn't prevent me from having nightmares about it. My computer is an obvious first choice, along with my external hard drive, in case anything happened to my computer, you know. My phone, obviously, and my wallet, but I'll lump those together in what I will call my "purse." Technically, that's already three, but since most of those things are little and portable and don't involve my 3rd grade harebrained plan to shove my mattress out my window and throw things out onto it (before hurling myself out too), I feel I can add some more stuff, like my ipod, my camera, my wallet, and maybe a book or two to keep me occupied. And my glasses, which would be hard to forget if the fire came in the middle of the night, but during the day would be easy to leave behind. (I'd like to be able to see after I take my contacts out, ya know!) Hm... Am I forgetting anything? I would be loathe to leave something important behind. Help me make a list so I don't keep having fire nightmares. Have I mentioned I'm scared of fire? Uh...I am. Would it be crazy to have a just-in-case bag loaded with essentials to grab and go should UCLA go up in flames?

5. Ithaca News. To the person who sent me this link--it looks super interesting, but I regret to inform you I haven't had time to properly read it yet. I'm sure I'll have some incoherent and ill-informed thoughts on it once I do. Thank you! (As an aside, here are my mom's thoughts on the matter (I just asked her about it): "Oh yeah, it's really bad. All kind of racial stuff. At the high school. It's bad......[long pause]......Did you hear about the disabled man who got killed when a FedEx truck rolled over on top of him? Oh, and are you near any of the fires?")


Now, if you don't mind, I'll be off to the doctor to add more evidence to the pile that I am a hypochondriac who should never read any medical-related articles again.

In which I give further evidence that I am, in all likelihood, crazy

1. Help! Lost Item! Reward Available!

I've been walking by this flier since July--it's posted on my route between school and home. Every time I pass by it, I can't help but think, "What the hell was this person thinking? What a terrible flier!" I mean, you have to agree with me--this dude or dudette could surely have picked a much more catching title for this flier so that people don't have to read through the long block of prose to figure out what he or she is looking for. Help! Lost Item! Reward Available! How informative.

Picture courtesy of my NEW CELL PHONE!

2. "Like, when did it become zero degrees here?!" - some girl I overheard while I was heading to the gym on Wednesday

The weather in Los Angeles has been just to my liking lately--namely, not sunny and not hot. It's actually been mildly crisp and cloudy and if I squint real hard and don't use my brain it almost reminds me of fall in New England. October is usually my favorite month of the year, or at least it was until I moved here. I mean, it starts with my birthday and ends with Halloween--it don't get much better than that. Plus, the weather in New England (and Upstate NY!) is usually amazing in October--crisp days, cool nights, sunny sometimes, not too sunny most times, not too much rain...and you can go apple picking and leaf peeping and you get to wear your favorite coats that are really only appropriate for that hazy period between fall and winter and...well, you get the picture. This morning when I left my house, I heard some crows cawing, but because I was relishing the not sunniness of the day, I briefly thought I was hearing ducks migrating south. The thought of ducks then reminded me of Upstate NY, and the ducks at Stewart Park, which in turn reminded me of the time my high school boyfriend and I got chased out of the park by the police because we were uh...hanging out there after it closed. But that's a story for another day. Suffice it to say that fall has hit LA, if only for a day, and I say yay.

3. All the COOL kids are Scrabbling.

This week has been hella unproductive for me, school wise. Despite the fact that I know I have a shit ton of work I need to do in the upcoming weeks, I managed to do absolutely none of it this week. Why not, you ask? Oh, it's because I've been spending all of my free time playing Scrabulous, the blatant Scrabble rip-off that has exploded all over Facebook. I've been playing game after game after game and although I keep telling myself I am going to stop, I can't. It's a bona-fide addiction, people, and I think I need an intervention. But on the up side, I just started a new game with a friend and got 70 points on the first turn--seven letter word, baby! Oh yeah.

4. Living on the Edge

For the past week, my contacts have been bothering me something fierce. My eyes have been totally bugging out when my contacts are in, and I know it's my contacts and not my eyes because the problem doesn't happen when I put my glasses on. Yesterday in class, the eye thing got so weird that I had to spend half the class with one eye closed--my two eyes could just not handle looking at hierarchical linear modeling equations at the same time (never mind the fact that my brain couldn't handle looking at them at all). After class, I briefly considered trying to find an eye doctor to go to because I thought my right eye might be going blind while my left one got successively weaker, but then I remembered that the last time I went to the eye doctor I was having this same problem, and it turned out that my right eye was bugging out and my vision was screwed up because my left contact was too weak and my right one was too strong.

So this morning I did what any logical person would do and I put my left contact in my right eye and my right contact in my left eye. That completely solved the problem, except now I have this crazy fear that I am going to get an eye disease and go blind. I have no idea why I think this, except that I've always kind of been superstitious about my eyes and my contacts, probably because my parents are superstitious about these things and I got many a lecture when I was younger about proper contact cleaning and hand washing and also some good horror stories about eye infections, and so on. What I took away from those lectures was 1) always wash your hands before you touch your contacts or your eyes, 2) always clean your contacts properly, and 3) don't let either eye contaminate the other one. Reflecting on this, I think number 3 was something I came up with on my own (because it sounds a tiny bit crazy, doesn't it?), but in my defense it does have some logic behind it. I mean, nobody wants their eyes to touch other people's eyes, right? There's all kinds of gook in there! You would NEVER share your contacts with somebody else...why would you want to share your right contact with your left eye and vice versa? What if I just transferred right eye bacteria to the left eye and left eye bacteria to the right eye and the bacteria mate and produce mutant bacteria that blinds me!?

I think I might go put my glasses on.

5. California has the darndest trees.

You know your tree is too thorny when its thorns start growing thorns!!

"I pity the foo that mess with me! Don't give me no back talk!"

And thus ends the brain dump by your favorite lapsed blogger, Jessicool.

Hello Blog!

Wow. Hi, blog. It's been a while, eh? Last time I wrote a substantive entry was like, a million years ago. I know, I know, I'm the worst blogger ever.

Lately I've been getting emails and comments from some of you asking me, Where the heck is your blog, what the crap is going on, where is my guilty work-time pleasure, Jessicool, dammit!? Write something!, so I thought I'd come back from the dead to say, "hi!" And also to say: To all of you itching for some more of my writin', I must apologize. I've been so busy and burnt out lately that I haven't had a moment to spare to write anything in this here online journal. Believe it or not, it takes a good deal of time for me to write a real blog entry, because I have to think of an idea, type it out (and we all know how wordy I am!), and then edit it for grammar mistakes, make sure it flows, add pictures if necessary, post it, edit it again for grammar, and then re-post and let it hang out on the internet for all y'all to enjoy. Lately I just haven't had the time for a real post, nor the ideas or the motivation to even start one and finish it later. I don't know what's happened, but my desire to blog has gone waaaay down. Back in my old life in Boston, due to certain circumstances that I will not detail here, I had a *lot* of free time to poke around on the internet (and go out in the world and let funny stuff happen to me). Unfortunately, now, as a graduate student with two-kind-of-three jobs to do and three classes to take and conference proposals to write and review and research projects to work on and literature to read and on the side sometimes friends to hang out with, I've just had my plate full. It's exhausting me just to think about it!

But I don't want to quit the blog for good, although I can't blog every day like I used to. I know full well that the longer I go between entries the more readers I lose (and I never had that many to begin with), so I'm on the fence about whether or not I should continue. Right now I don't have much to say except hi, because I am procrastinating on my homework for my hierarchical linear modeling class. Whoo doesn't that sound like a good time? Speaking of that, I should probably get back to it because I have to go to work soon and then to class and then to the gym and then home for dinner and then to my softball game (hey, as an aside, I got myself on a softball team, ain't that exciting?). So yeah. Life is busy right now, folks.

But on the upside, I've also been sneaking in some fun stuff along with all the business, and I've been taking pictures as always! Most of these don't have captions yet, but if you want to poke around and see what I've been doing instead of me telling you about it, go right ahead!

On August 25, I went to Vegas, for a properly debaucherous time:



On September 16, I went to my great uncle's 104th birthday party (and met a few new cousins of mine, who were so cute I could just die):



From September 17-20, I explored Yosemite National Park with my parents:



On September 20, we drove through Sequoia and Kings Canyon National Parks:



On September 21 and 22, my parents visited LA and experienced the first rainfall in over 100 days (we watched the storm roll in from the Getty Center, which was awesome):



On September 29, I threw myself a birthday party at Sasha & Noah's house, and got a teensy weensy bit too drunk:



And then yesterday, I turned 26! Yup, yesterday was my birthday. I don't have any pictures from the day, but I thought you would all be amused to know that on my birthday I managed to slam my right middle finger in the front door, my left index finger in the shower door, and I also somehow managed to twist my ankle during step aerobics. Yup, it was a good day. On the upside, though, I installed my new TiVo (!!!), which was a present from my lovely parents, and it is all set up to record my favorite brain-rotting junk. Yay!

This is the shirt I wore yesterday on my birthday. Because I'm super cheesy like that.

Now, remember when I was saying how I had homework to do? Yeah, I'd better get back to that.

Today's breakfast is dedicated to JP

-Peanut butter
-Coffee
-Jamba Juice


Is that acceptable, bossman?

Breakfast of Champions!

Vitamins, minerals, carbs, saturated fat, and aspartame. What more could a girl want?

Only in Vegas

Peru Pictures!

After much hard work and sacrifice, I've finally come up with an abridged photo album from Peru. There are 300 pictures in there (give or take), which I know some of you might not feel is "abridged," but let me tell you: I took 1,900 pictures on the trip, so to narrow them down to 300 was a feat! I mean, if I narrowed 'em down too much, you wouldn't be able to get the flavor of the trip. See?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy:



Also, in case you are interested, I've snazzified my Peru Picture Website, and I've put in a call to Shaina to get her pictures online so that I can incorporate them. Keep checking that out over the next few days!

And maybe I'll blog for real soon. We'll see.

Yo peeps, check out what I did.

To be more accurate, I should have titled this post, "Yo peeps, check out what Google did." But I'll take credit for the crappy work to spare Google the shame of being associated with me.

So, peeps! Check out what I did! I made a website for my Peru pictures!

It's in progress right now--only the pictures from Lima are captioned, and Shaina's pictures are MIA, but since people have been pestering me to see the pictures, I figured I'd let them impatient folks have a little peek.

Check it out here!

I'm thinking about making a super abridged album for people who think I take far too many pictures to see the whole trip without losing their eyesight, but I don't know if I'll get to it...assuming I get over my bizarre illness soon, I'm sure I'll have better things to do. We'll see :)

Enjoy!

"Yeah, you come off more eccentric than brilliant."

**Warning: Harry Potter Spoiler Alert***

1. Fortify the defenses

OK, so hi, I'm super late on the news (witness the comments in the "I'm back from Peru" blogpost), but did you hear? There was a humongous earthquake on the coast of Peru, in the Lima area, a few days ago. All of the places that were hit the hardest were places that I visited in my last few days in Peru, RIGHT before the earthquake hit. Fricken holy crappity cow. That was a close call!

It doesn't mean I've been earthquake free this past month, though. A few weeks ago when I was visiting Nate, a 5.0(ish)-magnitude earthquake woke me up in the middle of the night and shook my bed like a kid might shake his parent's bed on Christmas morning. That was exciting enough, and then today, I felt a brief 3.5-magnitude earthquake that originated just north of LA.

Taken all together, I have become convinced that there is a big natural disaster coming. Perhaps to my area. Clearly, the Earth's plates are in motion over on this half of the world, and I don't know if they're subducting or adducting or what, but the Peru thing can't be the finale. I think that within the next few weeks or a month something else is going to happen, here in LA...a tsunami in Malibu or a huge earthquake in Northridge or perhaps a nearby volcano explosion (are there any volcanoes nearby?). Mark my words: we're in for a big one. In case of a big earthquake, I think I'm going to move my shotglass collection off of the top shelf of my tall, unsecured-to-the-wall, bookcase. Never say I am not prepared.

2. The gunman on the grassy knoll

My strange paranoia about a big natural disaster has made me think about another kind of paranoia that afflicted me back in the day, in high school. In 10th grade, we had to take Global Studies: European Edition (9th grade was Global Studies: Global Edition), and for this class I had a very very serious and stern teacher named Mr. Kane. He was an excellent teacher, don't get me wrong, but the type of teacher you sure as hell don't want to cross. Or even talk to. In his class, the only proper thing to do was to sit quietly and listen and speak when spoken to. And memorize the capitals of all of the countries in Europe.

Anyway, one of the only things I vividly remember from that class, besides Josh Somethingorother comically falling asleep during a movie about Japanese Kamikaze pilots (Tora Tora Tora?), his head lolling to the side or front or back and then snapping back into position, over and over again, was the full week (week!) we spent studying the JFK assassination. I have no idea why we were even covering this topic in the first place, since we were supposed to learn American History in 11th grade, but whatever. During our JFK lesson, we watched a series of movies that convinced naive 15-year-old me that the JFK assassination was part of some kind of conspiracy (although I was not sure what the conspiracy was or why there would be a conspiracy, I was nonetheless convinced that there was a conspiracy and suspected that the FBI was in on it), and also that there was ANOTHER GUNMAN ON THE GRASSY KNOLL. Because this was the first time I had heard anything about the JFK assassination, I took these videos as the truth, and it took me quite some time (years) to realize that perhaps the conspiracy theories were just theories, and that no one is sure whether there was another gunman on the grassy knoll, and perhaps I should not have just gone with what I learned from a movie with people talkin' conspiracies. Thus, it was not for many years that I realized how crazy I must have sounded when my teen tour summer bus trip went to the place JFK was shot and 16-year-old me was gushing on and on about the grassy knoll and Lee Harvey Oswald and the angle of the gunshots and blahdidy blah. Sad, huh? I guess I just trusted stern Mr. Kane to teach me the truth.

All of that is a really long-winded way of saying that I think I am prone to bouts of paranoia, although thankfully I have not yet embraced the craziest of paranoias, the alien theories. If I ever wake up one day as an 11th grade English teacher and come in and tell my class in all seriousness, as a confession, that I saw an alien spacecraft above my pond, well, then I will have become my 11th grade English teacher and I should probably be locked up. You won't have to worry about me though; I will have my excellent SAT vocabulary to keep me company in the Loony Bin.

3. Good Riddance, ya Wanker

So I gave in and read the last Harry Potter yesterday (well, actually, I read most of it yesterday, and finished the last 80 or 100 pages this morning. Not finishing it last night gave me bizarre dreams about bloody wizard battles (I stopped reading last night in the middle of the epic battle at the end of the book and I guess all those spells and whatnot got into my brain), but that's a story for another day). Can I complain about the book for a minute?

What a terrible terrible waste of time book. It's maybe 50% longer than it needs to be, mostly because Harry Potter can't stop whining about how he got lied to, how he doesn't know what to do, how Hermione and Ron are talking about him behind his back, wah wah wah. Also, Ron does his fair share of whining too. Shut the crap up, Harry Potter, suck it up, grow some balls, be a man. You're of age now! Time to stop acting like you are still 11. You are so ANNOYING! (Says the crazy ranting blogger to the fictitious wizard.)

Aside from the fact that it was way longer than it needed to be and contained too much whining, the other major problem I had with the book was the fairy tale ending. I really think Harry should have died at the end. Love conquers all? Happily ever after? Really, JK Rawling? GAG ME WITH A SPOON. It would have been so much more dramatic if Harry had died vanquishing Ol' Voldy. And I would have been much happier, because then he couldn't whine nearly as much, although after he was dead he would have probably go straight to Dumbledore and been like, "Why did you lieeeeee to me, father figure? Why did you lieeeeeee?"

Anyway, I thought the book was (as the Brits would say) rubbish. But then again, I haven't much liked any of the books in the series, so I don't know what I was expecting. Sheesh. There are much better books about people doing magic in Britain (Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, for example), and there are better kids books that adults can enjoy too (Summerland, for example). And that's what I have to say about that.

I fully expect to be excommunicated from normal society posthaste.

4. More eccentric than brilliant

This was an assessment of my character by one of my friends this morning. I didn't argue.

5. Wow

Purty picture from the Andes.

Duly noted.

In Peru nonsensical English translations on customs forms are not punished by jail.

I'm on a See Bass diet. I see bass and eat it.

It is forbidden to alter the order. It is forbidden the ambulatory sale. It is forbidden to carry out propaganda. That's all I have to say about that.

I took a terrible picture of this, but I wanted to point out that at this campsite they felt the need to "recommend" that one should not stand on the toilet (it will break or get dirty), and that one should not use the floor as a urinary (because it causes bad odor and contaminations). And yet the toilet was still dirty, with bad odor and pee on the floor. Sigh.

I will take some rum and money, please. Or perhaps a fruist salad natural with money. Or just the money.

I made it back!

Hey folks. I'm back! Whoo! Peru was amazing!

Unfortunately, I came back with a souvineer I didn't really want: illness. For the past week I've had a terrible wet cough that has expelled a ton of things that I don't think you should be able to cough up, a sore throat, swollen glands, and a sinus infection. I'm going to the doctor this morning. Hopefully my disease isn't fatal, and I'll be able to post my awesome pictures from the trip soon...

Is it Tuesday? Happy Tuesday.

¡Viajo a Perú!

Time to put some more stamps in my passport!

Yes blog, this is it. *Tonight,* I'm off for my next travel adventure, in Peru! It is a lifetime dream of mine to hike Machu Picchu, and I am finally doing it--never mind the fact that I have a million things I need to get done here, people to email, work to do--I'm leaving! I will meet the lovely Shaina in Lima, and we will travel the country and no doubt wreak havoc together. I'm mildly concerned that my sedentary lifestyle of the past month (so much work! so little time to exercise! so many extra pounds!) is going to come back to haunt me as I hike the fricken' Andes, but...well, I hope I can make my legs move at least enough to get me up to Machu Picchu. Wish me luck! I'll catch you on the flip side.

Moms say the darndest things

The other day, my mom called me to ask if I've gotten the package she had asked my brother send to me. I told her that I hadn't received it yet, but that I hope I got it soon, because I am going to Peru (!) in less than a week. My mom then worried about if my brother had sent it correctly.

"What, did he send it snail mail?" she said.

"Uh, yeah," I responded.

"WHAT?!?!" My mom gasped.

"Well, I mean, he can't send it over e-mail," I replied.

And then I laughed and laughed.


****

[Update: Maggy also says the darndest things.]

I love my friend Maggy, but damn, she makes a lot of typos when we chat online. This one was particularly funny:

Maggy: so i'm in pubic
online
and accidentally looked up porn
so who ever is sitting behind me thinks i'm freak
a porn freak
great

Jessica: yeah, you're in pubic alright

Finally! Captioned pictures from Christine's Visit (Three weeks ago)

Dudes. Life is so freaking busy right now. I have a billion things to do before I go to Peru (Tuesday night!), and if I spend every waking moment from now until then working on them, there's only a 70% chance I'll get everything done. Bah.

Some more pictures to amuse you while I...don't blog:

San Francisco is a dangerous place.

People have died.




In other news, I'm at "Stats Camp" this week. Not much time to blog. You understand. Stats camp!

So I took a ton of pictures this weekend while I was up in San Fran...

...but Nate and his fiancee STOLE all of the good ones! Shiiiit, that ain't cool. Fo shizzle. For shit!

While we get that little situation figured out, you can check out the pictures I took of SF's Chinatown, which, inexplicably, Nate didn't steal. I can't imagine why. It's not like they are of...nothing.

Anyway, I love SF's Chinatown, but it does have one downside: it is crowded as hell, and people are REALLY not aware of personal space. At one point the crush actually made me say to Nate, "I don't think I would like being in China." But at least I was entertained, as always, by the myriad of interesting things you can buy in mini China in the city by the bay. Observe:

Brain dump!

Things I hate:

1. That STUPID commercial that plays all the time about the meningitis vaccine. About how adolescence is a time when teens bloom, but it is also a time whem they can contract meningitis and die. I don't know why, but it just rubs me the wrong way. I think it's kind of alarmist. I know meningitis is a nasty disease; I did a report on it in 9th grade biology and trust me, it's not something you want to get. BUT, I still don't think there's any need to alarm the public about a deadly killer disease that can be spread by kissing, sharing drinks, or just being near an infected person. Lighten up, drug companies. Stop trying to use alarmist tactics to sell your drug. Seriously.

2. Soda bottle caps with stupid computer codes. I miss the days when you would unscrew the cap and it would say, "You are a winner!" Or "Free 20 oz. pepsi!" I remember the first time I won a free coke by finding a winning message on the inside of the cap. I was probably 10, and I was SO EXCITED about it. In fact, I was so excited that I decided to save the cap forever and never cash it in, because quite frankly my parents could buy me more soda but they could never buy me a new winning bottle cap...unless they bought me a lot of new soda. Plus, I am the biggest packrat of all time. Imagine my dismay, then, when my dad somehow found the bottle cap, and thinking it was garbage, threw it away. In fact, you don't have to imagine my dismay--I'll tell you. I believe I may have cried, and I know that I made some kind of scene because I have a vivid memory of my dad dissecting the trash to find me my bottle cap. Yes, my dad went through the trash to find his 10-year-old daughter's winning coke bottle cap. Which she promptly took to her room and put in a box and forgot all about. Oh, the joy of having kids. Anyway, back to my rant: I hate the stupid computer codes. I don't want to log into your website to see what I won. I want you to TELL me on the inside of the cap! I mean, not telling me is like selling a scratch-off lottery ticket and then making people scratch off that weird metally stuff to reveal a random string of letters and numbers and a message that says "log in to our website to see if you won!" Pah.


Some exciting stuff:

1. I'm going to San Francisco tomorrow to see Nate before he moves to Chicago! I am sure it will be tons o' fun, and I'll learn lots of Spanish on the way, courtesy of my learn Spanish thingy on my ipod.
2. I'm going to Peru on August 1! Which is...soon. I don't even have a backpack to pack in yet. Yikes. Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out.
3. I blogged twice this week. A miracle!



I'd better get back to work.

I just don't have any time for blogging lately

So, somehow, in the past few months, my life has picked up pace tremendously. My first oh, eight months here were veeeeeeerrrrrrrryyyyyyy slooooooooooooow, to say the least. Then, somehow, two months ago things picked up and now I'm trying to cram into my life every friend and every activity and every job that I didn't have (or didn't do) earlier this year. There just isn't enough time for everything, and as a consequence, I've lost all of my blogging time. If I wanted, I could have something to do virtually every night of the week. Of course, I'm only half social--and half anti-social--so I don't really want to leave my house every night, but that doesn't mean I have nothing to do those nights, it just means that I am getting my sitting on the couch and vegging going on, or perhaps aprendo Español (that's going very slowly, in case you're interested).

But anyway, again I find myself blogging an apology for not blogging. Which is lame, but what can you do? I'm sure all of you would also watch Medical Incredible over blogging about your crazy-ass Saturday night, which involved an excellent but boozy batch of white sangria, running to a bus stop barefoot, witnessing an accident scene where some girl got hit by a car driven by an old man and then hearing the bus driver say that people got hit there "all the time," taking the bus waaay too far because the bus driver just refused to stop, stealing/using some hair product from RiteAid, breaking the rear-view mirror off someone's car (whose birthday it was), getting hit on to the Nth degree at a bar ("You are the hottest girl at the bar...all of your drinks are on me tonight. Oh, please come home with me...we are having an after party. Will you at least come outside? Ok, go out with me then? You are the girl in blue! The hottest girl here!"), drinking tequila from a Nalgene I hid in my purse and smuggled into the bar, announcing to way too many people in my wine tasting club that I thought certain people looked like animals, one being a dude who looks like a wet rat and the other being a girl who looks like a chihuahua, blatantly throwing myself at some guy for no other reason besides that I was REALLY DRUNK and wanted to make out, accusing my friend of being "jealous" that I was throwing myself at this guy and making an ass of myself, flirting with some OTHER guy (after announcing to someone who I barely know that I have a "huge crush" on him and it's a secret so don't tell!), and continuing to flirt with him after he TOLD ME ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH SOME OTHER GIRL, repeatedly telling this same guy never to smoke pot, while a bunch of people around me went and got their toke on, and going to bed at 5am. And probably some stuff I don't remember. Because that's the way my night was going.

But see, isn't the Discovery Channel show Medical Incredible so much better than that story? Yeah. That's why I've been behind on the blogging lately. Too much TV! Well, actually it's the too much brain power zapped at work all day long, not enough left for blogging. And that's not to mention the brain power that I clearly and irrevocably zapped on Saturday night when I got my big ol' drunken fool on.

Oy.


Pictures from Saturday:

Did I wake up in bizarro land yesterday and forget to leave?

All these weird things have been happening lately...It's like I went through the looking glass or fell down the rabbit hole and ended up in a world strangely similar to my normal one, but with mild bizarre changes.

Example #1:

Last night, I was at 99-cent taco night at Don Antonio's with a few friends. As I was finishing my third and last taco, a delicious potato taco in a crispy shell, I felt something sharp stab me in the roof of my mouth. And I mean STAB. It hurt like a mofo, yo, and in front of friends and strangers alike I actually may have yelped in surprise. Yelp! I've been stabbed in the roof of my mouth! My first thought was that the crispy taco shell broke in my mouth in a menacing way and I didn't chew it enough, and in the process of mastication, a sharp corner lodged itself in the roof of my mouth. But then I reached in and pulled out the thing that stabbed me...and discovered that it was (an extra-sharp) part of a TOOTHPICK. A toothpick! In my taco! Excuse me, Don Antonio--I didn't ask for a toothpick taco...shiiiit, that's dangerous, yo.

I of course immediately saw an opportunity for a free meal, because OBviously if you find a toothpick in your taco and it STABS YOU in your hard palate you are entitled to get your tacos for free. So I got up and told a manager-looking dude about it. He made a face and said, "Yeeeaahhhh...darn. What table are you sitting at?" I told him, and he said someone would be by in a minute to address the issue. Having experienced bad foodstuffs in restaurants before, I expected the someone who "will address the issue" to be the owner or something, or at least my waiter bearing news that congratulations! My tacos will be free! But...no. Instead, some random waiter, not my waiter, because this guy did not have any silver teeth, walked up with a lone taco that was pinned shut by a toothpick. He showed it to me, said "See, this is how we make the tacos." And then he WALKED AWAY.

And that was IT. That was the end of my I-got-a-toothpick-in-my-taco saga. No free tacos! Not even an apology! Just an explanation that they make tacos using toothpicks. What! This is no way to encourage me to re-patronize the restaurant. Don Antonio, what are you thinking? A stab wound from a toothpick in your potato taco clearly merits some free food.

But hm...then again, if they lose my patronage, they only lose like $2.97 worth of business every week. Shoot, Don Antonio, the power of your $0.99 tacos is too strong. You win this time. But next time I get a toothpick in my taco...you'd better watch out.


Example #2:

This morning, I was sitting at work, and my phone rang. I debated whether or not to pick it up, because I share it with another student worker, and nobody actually knows that I sit at this desk and that that phone number is mine except perhaps the dude I work for, and so the chances that the phone call was for me were very slim. But then I thought that it might--just might--be my sort-of-boss calling to praise me or something, so I picked up. I then had one of the most bizarre conversations ever. It went something like this:

Me: Hello?
Girl: Hello? Is this UCLA?
Me: Yes, this is HERI.
Girl: Is this UCLA?
Me: Yes, I am on the UCLA campus.
Girl: Some woman called me from UCLA about a study.
Me: Do you know what study?
Girl: No, I just know that someone called an hour or two ago about a study.
Me: From this phone?
Girl: I don't know.
Me: Well...I didn't call you.
Girl: No, I know, the woman had a lighter voice.
Me: Okay.........um...well, do you know what study you were called about?
Girl: Someone called an hour or two ago. I think it was about a gambling study. I think it was a follow-up to a gambling study.
Me: I really have no idea what you are talking about.
Girl: Well, someone at UCLA called me about a study and I want to call back.
Me: Do you have ANY idea who called you?
Girl: A woman.
Me: With a lighter voice, right. Do you have ANY idea what the study was?
Girl: No. There weren't any details in the message. I think it was about gambling.
Me, to everyone else in the room: Um...do you guys know anything about a gambling study?
Everyone else: [blank looks]
Me, to the girl: Um, well, nobody here knows anything that. But uh...let me take your name and I'll ask around.
Girl: gives me her name. Okay.
Me: I really don't think anyone is going to call you back about this.
Girl: Well SOMEONE called me.
Me: Okay, okay, I'll take a message and I'll ask everyone.
Girl: Thanks.
Me: Goodbye.

.............what?

There are more odd things that have happened, but I'm too busy to write about them right now. But here's some pictures of one:



Holy crap, biggest yellow pepper ever.

I think I may have missed my calling as an on-the-beat reporter

Wow. Christine and I had the best best bestest time when she was here--the six days just flew by. I can't believe they are over! I've got pictures on the way, but first I have an asston of work to do--work that I neglected to do while Christine was here because we were having SO MUCH FUN. Thanks for visiting, Christine! Come again soon!

So yeah, while I get my blog shit together, and get the pictures captioned, you can amuse yourselves with this video, shot by yours truly on Sunday afternoon, after Christine and I spent the afternoon wine tasting in Los Olivos. :)

This is how good of a friend I am

My very good friend Christine's birthday was last Saturday, and somehow I knew it was coming up, but when the big day came, I totally forgot. I didn't email her or call her or blog a birthday greeting to her or anything. So sorry, Christine! Even worse, I haven't yet even made a peep up here on my public diary-of-sorts that Christine is coming to visit tomorrow and I am so excited I keep peeing my pants (ok, not really, but you get the point).

Because, you know, I'm such a good friend.

(Happy belated birthday to Christine, by the way! And welcome in advance to LA!)

Capping off my neglect, this morning Christine called me, and since the call kind of woke me up, and since my caller ID didn't recognize the number (she called from work), I started the conversation like this: mumble "Hello? Who IS this?" And when she answered "Christine," my sleep-addled brain took several moments to figure out who that was ("Huhhh?"). Once I recognized that it was Christine (aha!), I laid back down in bed and proceeded to practically sleep through the conversation. I made no sense. I'm sure Christine was thrilled with my random and nonsensical comments. She's probably wondering if I'll even show up at the airport tomorrow, or if I will attribute our conversation to a dream and forget her visit like I forgot her birthday. Hi, Christine, if you're reading this, don't worry! I'll totally pick you up at the airport tomorrow. I won't forget! (I hope.)

Heh. The visit is going to be so much fun!

***

So I just re-read the drivel that I just typed, and realized that it is kind of sporadic and nonsensical. (Now you know how my conversation with Christine went this morning. Apparently I have not woken up yet. Another liter of diet Coke, please!) I'd make this blog make more sense, but I really gotta go. I'm up the creek without a paddle on one of my jobs, and plus I have another job, and I'm super duper busy. Busy busy busy. So I need to do some work now. Pah.

Hope you all are having better days than me!

Maybe it's not soooo bad?

Yeah.

My brother, walking in: "Holy hair cut!"
Me: I know, isn't it terrible?
Him: Well.....I won't lie, it could be better.
Me: It's terrible.
Him: It's not THAT bad. But it could be better.

Love the brutal honesty. Thanks, dude.

Shitty new haircut, cool new glasses!

Plus a funny shadow.

I can no longer go out in public

So, lately I've been wanting a haircut. Specifically, I wanted my hair to be a little shorter than it was, right? I liked it when it was cut a few months ago, but since then it kind of grew into a blah length--not short, not long, just...there, and I decided that for summer, it might be nice if the hair was off my shoulders. A little shorter.

But hell if I was going to pay another $66 to get my hair cut just a little bit shorter (LA haircuts are pricey!), so I decided that while I was home I should seize the opportunity to get my hair cut in lovely upstate New York. I know you're all probably thinking that I can get a better haircut in LA than here, but: first, it's cheaper here than in LA, and second, more importantly, I like going to my hair stylist's studio. Because yes, believe it or not, I have a hair stylist...not in the sense that I am at all glamorous or stylish, but rather in the sense that since I was like, 8, I've been getting my hair cut either by this one lady or by her employees (she opened her own shop), and I generally like the results. Plus, I'm a sucker for tradition.

But of course, in typical Jessica fashion, I did not plan ahead for this haircut, calling a week or two before to ensure that I got my hairdresser for the cut and not someone random. Instead I called yesterday and asked for the first appointment they had, which was today. With some girl I'd never seen before. Which, I assured myself, should be fine, because every haircut I've had from there has been good.

And so I vaguely described what I wanted to the girl, and I think she understood, and she gave me what I asked for, more or less...and it looks awful. It's hard to decide if it's my fault for being vague in describing what I wanted, or for describing a haircut that turns out to be awful for me, or if it's her fault for not really listening exactly, or for being lazy and taciturn, but whoever's fault it is, I don't like it. No siree. The problem is that it's too short and it is layered weird and I'm not sure how it can be fixed without cutting my hair even SHORTER and I certainly don't want that. I'm already approaching a middle-aged-lady haircut right now, and I sure as hell don't want to go any farther in that direction. However, I also don't like this haircut at all...blah. What a stupid idea it was to get my hair cut in the first place.

Blog: let this be a record. I hereby swear off my patented last-minute haircuts, and declare that I am growing my hair out from now until at least December. Well, maybe from tomorrow until December. I might go back tomorrow to see if someone can fix this crap on my head. Crap crappity crap crap. Crap.

When in (near) Rome (NY)...

It's nice being home with the bro, without the 'rents, who are off cavorting in Europe for three weeks (with my sis, on a trip on which I was not invited, not that I'm bitter, harumph). Anyway, I think the K-dude has been bored all alone here, because he's actually been hanging out with me. We went to the movies (Ocean's 13), we went out to lunch (Viva!), and he even took me to the IC gym to get a little workout in. He's also requested that I be his "beer pong" partner tonight. I told him I wouldn't play unless he called it "beirut," because "pong" is a sacred term that should only be applied to the drinking game played at Dartmouth with ping pong paddles stripped of their handles and rubber outsides and absurdly elaborate rules. Any red/granite-blooded Dartmouth grad will agree with me, I am sure. Lest the old traditions fail! Eh?

It's also kind of not nice to be home with the bro, because it makes me realize how old I am. I'm turning more and more into my mom every day, worrying about this and that and making dire predictions about my brother going deaf from listening to music so loud and dying from drinking too much. Crap. When did I turn into an adult?

I was especially reminded of being old when I was helping my brother load the dishwasher today. There was a pan in the sink that can't go in the dishwasher, and it had apparently been used for eggs. Like, last week. It wasn't in good shape. With rotting egg residue all over it (or perhaps molding or fermenting egg residue?), it smelled awful, and I told my brother he needed to wash it. He came over to where I was, smelled it, and ran away yelling "Oh my god, that smells terrible!" He returned a moment later with his solution to the problem: Fabreeze. He sprayed it all around, took a whiff, and said, "there, now it smells good." And he left the pan in the sink.

I'm sad that I yelled at him, "You know, it would probably be better if you just washed it already, Fabreeze Man!"

But at least I followed that up with, "Now go Fabreeze the basement so it doesn't smell like a frat anymore."

Every bottle of Honest Tea's Moroccan Mint tea has as much of the antioxidant EGCG as 32 servings of blueberries.

The title of this post is brought to you by the "fun" fact inside the cap of this bottle of iced Moroccan Mint green tea I am drinking. Besides the fact that that statistic is somewhat frightening (that's a lot of blueberries!), I also think it is humorous, because it makes me think of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, when Violet Beauregarde ate that gum and got all blue and blew up like a giant blueberry. I mean, really. What if 32 servings-worth of blueberries is a too much EGCG for one sitting? Yikes! If you don't hear from me for a while, it might be because after I finished this tea, I turned blue, blew up like a balloon and was no longer able to fit through the door. Come find me with a large juicing machine.

Oh my god, I am so weird.


Anyway, this post is going to be one in which, in a rare online moment of egotism, I brag and gloat a little. Because I think this time perhaps I have earned a moment or two of glory. I've been getting great news all around lately!

(Incidentally, the news also (indirectly) kind of explains why I have been so terrible at blogging as of late. It's not because I don't love all two of you regular readers! I do, really I do. I've just been busy...being awesome.)

First, the best bestest news: I got the results back from my masters/doctoral screening exam yesterday, and not only did I pass, but I passed with honors! Which I think is kind of a big deal? I'm not sure. Anyway, it was a complete surprise to me. A quite pleasant surprise! I fricken rock.

The next-best-but-probably-tied-for-first-best news is that I am switching my doctoral program, from social research methodology to higher education. As some of you know, I haven't been entirely happy with my program this past year. For a while (i.e. all winter), I was considering quitting school at the end of this year (when I get a Master's degree) and moving back east (oh, won't that be a glorious day, when I make my triumphant return to the East Coast?) (alternately, I was thinking about moving to the bay area; hi Jessie!). Drastic moves seemed a bit imprudent, but I didn't know what else to do. I just wasn't impressed with the program here, and I didn't think I was gaining much besides another piece of paper proving that I sat through classes and wrote some papers. But people were looking out for me, and thanks to their help (and cajoling), a new path was laid out for me this spring, and I decided to take it. I'm of course nervous that it isn't the right decision, or that it won't turn out to be the most prudent decision in the end, but since I can't divine the future, I have to go with what I know right now, and what I know right now is that I want to switch. So I am switching. Yay!

In other news, I just got my grades and ohmygod could I be any more smarter? This past quarter was crazy crazy busy, with my four classes, one paying job, one volunteering job, lots of reading, lots of writing, and lots of time spent in the computer lab because I'm too poor to buy SPSS for my home computer. My blogging suffered as a result, and I thought that my schoolwork did too. But it turns out that the latter was not the case; all of my grades aren't in yet, but I went online this morning and so far I have two A+'s (and an A), a fact which a) is astonishing; I don't think I have gotten an A+ since oh, high school (Dartmouth didn't have them), and b) is SO well deserved because I feel that I totally busted my ass harder than most other people in my classes and it is nice to be rewarded for that. Apparently I am a nerdy goody goody two shoes. But damn am I good at it.

On top of all of this academic good news, last night at my weekly game night, I won $15 in a crazy game called LCR (you can see it in action here). I am not going to go into how to play, but let's just say that winning $15 on the same day that you found out you passed your master's exam with honors and got two A+'s is like, awesome. It would have been more awesome if it were $150, but hey, I'll take what I can get.

And on top of all of this, I have even more good news (for me, anyway): I am going to Ithaca on Sunday to spend a week with the good ol' K-dude. My parents have gone to Europe for 3 weeks with my sister (and they didn't invite me, which I'm not bitter about, oh no, harrumph), and they left my 18-year-old party-boy brother at home...alone. They're worried (justifiably, probably) that he can't really handle being alone for 3 weeks (taking out the trash? paying the bills? watering the plants? not really on his radar), so they're sending me home for the middle week to make sure he hasn't burned the place down. (And to make sure he's stocked up with beer, of course.)*

*Hi, responsible adults out there! I am kidding.

Anyway, so life is pretty good right now, although I still have a million things to do before I feel like I have dug myself out of the hole that last quarter threw me into. Like, perhaps I should call my friends back (hi Christine, and Jessica, and Jillian, and Shaina) or e-mail the friends who have e-mailed me recently (hi Molly, and Ted, and Melissa, and Alyssa, and Meredith)...and I really really really need to go to the dentist and the eye doctor, and my car needs a wash and some new windshield-wiper fluid, and I have a stack of books to read, and papers to sort, and ahk...I don't want to think about that all! I've got to do some actual work, too. Jessica got to get paid, son!

I'd better get to that.

Who's that crazy girl walking down the street muttering to herself?*

No, not the crazy homeless lady who looks like she has enough stuff in her cart to build a house and then some. The lady next to her. Oh, what's that? It's me? Of course.

Let this post mark the week that I have descended one step farther into the ranks of official crazy-dom. People: I have taken up muttering to myself while I walk around town.

I have actually always had the uh, 'interesting' personality quirk of, while walking to and from places, having conversations with people in my head about things I either want to say or plan on saying to them--usually on issues that I'm angry about. The head-conversations help me process my argument and also prevent me from overreacting (at least, publicly. I always overreact in my head). Which is great. Unfortunately, they also sometimes cause me to actually mutter what I'm thinking out loud, which is not great. It's crazy.

But that crazy pales in comparison to the crazy levels I have apparently reached, for now I am now not wandering around muttering angrily to myself using complex English sentences; no! I am now muttering blandly to myself in Spanish, using completely inane phrases. For example, today on the way to work (by the way, hello boss, JP, no, I am not blogging on your time, of course I wouldn't do that, don't worry), if you got close enough to me you could hear me saying things (in Spanish) like, "That is my cat. That is my dog. Those are my cats. Those are my dogs. Are those your cats? These are my houses. My house is your house. Whose house is it? Is this your pillowcase? This is our table. This is his coat. Whose sheets are these?" You could perhaps also hear me saying the word perro (dog) over and over and over again, trying for the life of me to roll my r. rr rr. peRRo. The only way I can get it to happen (and even then only half the time) is if I sound like a compelte freak when I say the word. peHHRRRRo. I'll be somewhat fluently saying something and then I have stop to gear up for the word perro, so it will be like, "no, no es mi pe...HERRRo. es su peRRRRRRRRRo."

Anyway, you've probably already figured out that the reason I am doing this is because I'm trying to learn Spanish. But there may be some confusion about why I have chosen to learn Spanish out(loud) in public where people can see me and think I am all kinds of crazy (there may also be confusion about why I am learning Spanish in the first place; this is answered below). There's an easy answer to why I'm learning Spanish on the streets: I'm so busy right now that almost the only free time I have is when I'm on my way to go places. That's why I downloaded a learn-Spanish-on-audiobook thing for my ipod...I've got a few learn-Spanish books, but books require time to sit down and look at them. Audio Spanish just requires my brain and my mouth; my body and eyes can be doing something else. So now I'm learning Spanish on the way to work, on the way to the grocery store, while I clean my stove, even while I shower...it's great! Oh, right, except for the downside that everyone in Los Angeles now thinks I'm crazy.

But let them. No estoy loco. ¡Practico español! Porque viajo a Perú y deseo hablar un poco español.

That Spanish may be all kinds of wrong, but it's not bad for 3 days of learning, huh?

Man, I love languages.



*aka the blog that should really be about where I've been and what I've been doing these past few weeks but isn't, because I'm too busy and frazzled to write that one right now.